When I'll die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandmother. I don't wanna die screaming, like the other passengers in that car!
If you try and you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat this until you get caught. Then lie that it wasn't you!
Son, if you really want to do something with your life, you have to work hard. Now quiet the lotto numbers are being announced.
I keep seeing on TV commercials for detergents that clean blood stains. When you have a blood stained shirt, I don't think washing it is your main problem.
My neighbor asked me if he can use my lawnmower, and I told him that he could, but only if he didn't take it off of my lawn.
You're 90 years old; 10 more and you'll be able to really smile. But it's pointless, because you're toothless!
If you won a million dollars, what should you do? Go to the bank and have them changed into pennies. Melt the pennies and sell them for two million dollars!
At the age of eleven she went vegetarian after being unable to rationalize why she should eat farm animals, but not her pet.
You can take a horse to the water, but if you can make it float on its back, you got something there!