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The best statuses to share with your friends!

Life is hard; it's even harder if you're stupid.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

Some people are just plain stupid. If you forget, they'll remind you.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Don't judge a book by its movie.

By the time you read this you've already read it.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis.

You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish.

Whenever you get mad, just think of a T-rex trying to masturbate.

I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen.

SSSSssss... Easy! Aaaaaaah, yeesssss! Lower! Lower! Yes! Exactly there... You offer great massages!

Tell me, does it hurt? Yes? Oh yes! It hurts. I'll put it in slower. Still hurts. OK, let's try another shoe!

A unidentified corpse was been found today. It was short, ugly, bald, no brain found and had a little penis. I'm scared, tell me you're OK!

Happiness doesn't cost a thing; but if you're sad, send me 10 euros! So you'd better be happy!

Why do Steaua fans stand up while riding the bus? Because they need to raise some points!

Last minute notice: The toffee room of Dinamo Bucharest was stolen. Two chairs and a table have been reported missing!

Cronus cut off his father's testicles, Uranus, which were the personification of the sky. I think he was right: you can imagine a sky with testicles?

Can you say that a chicken commercial is bullshit?

Life is hard; it's even harder if you're stupid.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

Some people are just plain stupid. If you forget, they'll remind you.

Others → Others

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Don't judge a book by its movie.

By the time you read this you've already read it.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Others → Others

For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis.

You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish.

Whenever you get mad, just think of a T-rex trying to masturbate.

I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen.

SSSSssss... Easy! Aaaaaaah, yeesssss! Lower! Lower! Yes! Exactly there... You offer great massages!

Others → Others

Tell me, does it hurt? Yes? Oh yes! It hurts. I'll put it in slower. Still hurts. OK, let's try another shoe!

A unidentified corpse was been found today. It was short, ugly, bald, no brain found and had a little penis. I'm scared, tell me you're OK!

Happiness doesn't cost a thing; but if you're sad, send me 10 euros! So you'd better be happy!

Why do Steaua fans stand up while riding the bus? Because they need to raise some points!

Last minute notice: The toffee room of Dinamo Bucharest was stolen. Two chairs and a table have been reported missing!

Others → Others

Cronus cut off his father's testicles, Uranus, which were the personification of the sky. I think he was right: you can imagine a sky with testicles?

Can you say that a chicken commercial is bullshit?