You can do anything, but not everything.
The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
I'd rather live with a good question than a bad answer.
I'm not smart, but when I look around I start feeling better.
"You are what you eat..." That's strange. I don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today...
My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.
Problems are like washing machines, they twist us, spin us and knock us around, but in the end we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before.
I hate people that say "He's a nice person once you get to know him." They might as well just say "He's a d*ckhead, but you'll get used to it."