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It's said that if you study to hard you will feel a pain in your stomach. It's also said that if you believe this you're a dumbass.

Smile! Tomorrow will be worse!

If something can go bad, it will go bad.

If something can't go bad, they will go bad.

If you know that there's no thing something can go wrong and you take all precautionary measures, something else will go wrong.

When things are bad somewhere, they tend to be bad everywhere.

When things start going worse, they never stop.

Things go worse under the pressure of making them perform better.

Artificial intelligence is nothing compared to natural stupidity.

No matter what you search on the internet, at least one porn site will match your search criteria.

All computers wait with the same speed.

The wrong number you call is never busy.

Teamwork is essential. It gives you the possibility to blame it on someone else.

A toy that you cannot break will be used to break other toys.

The length of a minute depends on which side of the door you are.

Never tell everything you know.

The first place you should start searching for something is in the last place you'd expect it to be.

If something is done wrong for an enough number of times, then it becomes right.

If you do something right on your first try, no one appreciates how difficult it was.

If things are going well somewhere, they're going terrible somewhere else.

The probability to win the lottery grows slightly if you actually buy a ticket.

If something works, it's a good idea not to fix it.

There are three ways you can get a job done: you do it yourself, you hire someone else to do it or you tell your children not to do it.

No matter what happens, there's always someone who knew it would happen like than.

If the first thing you do in the morning is to eat a live toad, nothing worse can happen to you that day.