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Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.

The box said 'Requires Windows Vista or better'. So I installed LINUX.

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.

Unix is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything." So he hands the guy a fifty. There's a long pause, then he asks. "Where's my change?' The vendor replies "Change must come from within."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bar tenders says "Sorry, we don't serve food here"

If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 Harry Potter books, it spells out a secret message: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on what movie to watch and pizza to order. And then I picked the movie and pizza I wanted because I'm the one with the money.

I've been clean for 47 days now. It's weird showering everyday but at least I have the heroin to get through it.

If I won $1.28B, I’d give a quarter of it to charity. Not sure what I’d do with the other $1,279,999,999.75 though.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Others → Others

Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.

The box said 'Requires Windows Vista or better'. So I installed LINUX.

If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.

Unix is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.

Others → Others

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

Others → Others

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

Others → Others

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything." So he hands the guy a fifty. There's a long pause, then he asks. "Where's my change?' The vendor replies "Change must come from within."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bar tenders says "Sorry, we don't serve food here"

If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 Harry Potter books, it spells out a secret message: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on what movie to watch and pizza to order. And then I picked the movie and pizza I wanted because I'm the one with the money.

I've been clean for 47 days now. It's weird showering everyday but at least I have the heroin to get through it.

Others → Others

If I won $1.28B, I’d give a quarter of it to charity. Not sure what I’d do with the other $1,279,999,999.75 though.