My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.
If a man keep staring at your lips he either wants to kiss you, you he noticed your mustache.
Alot of things changed when my girlfirend got pregnant. Like my name, my phone number and my address.
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs.
If your girlfriend stops waxing it means you're the only one in her life.
Don't be afraid of smart women. Loves makes them stupid too.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
All women dream of a loving and caring male partner; but, unfortunately, all loving and caring lovers already have a male partner.
One day, your prince will show up too. Mine went the wrong way, he's lost and he's too stubborn to ask for directions.
At the beginning I didn't love you... But now I love you like I did, when it all began.
Hey, girly, how much for those melons?
Who loves me for who I'm am, like me; who doesn't can kiss my ass for free.
Last night I had a wet dream about you... I peed myself laughing when you fell off a cliff.