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UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything." So he hands the guy a fifty. There's a long pause, then he asks. "Where's my change?' The vendor replies "Change must come from within."
If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 Harry Potter books, it spells out a secret message: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on what movie to watch and pizza to order. And then I picked the movie and pizza I wanted because I'm the one with the money.
I've been clean for 47 days now. It's weird showering everyday but at least I have the heroin to get through it.
If I won $1.28B, I’d give a quarter of it to charity. Not sure what I’d do with the other $1,279,999,999.75 though.