One day, 0 and 8 meet. 0 says to 8: Wow, you got a belt!
What do you call Six without the S? Nine.
Solar energy is the future, but it won't happen overnight.
My friend, Jim, drowned last week. We placed a life jacket on his coffin... It's what he would have wanted.
How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps? You slowly get over it.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s also terrible.
I proposed a toast once but the bread said "no".
How many people with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?
You wanna ride bikes?
He thinks I'm crazy for him, but I was crazy before him.
There were a couple girls banging on my bedroom door all last night. What's a guy to do? I had to let them out.
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
There are 2 types of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.
Who is this Rorschach guy and why does he keep drawing pictures of my parents fighting?
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.