Selfishness destroys all forms of love!
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.
If the lessons of history teach us anything it is that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
Karma is like a rubber band. You can only stretch it so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun".
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing – that's why we recommend it daily.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere!
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
A woman is like a football player. She lays down and moans, and you're wondering if she's faking it or not.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.