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The best statuses to share with your friends!

A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. The bartender said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.’

Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.

Liquid antiseptic for external wounds. Whiskey for internal wounds.

I don't have a drinking problem, unless I can't find a drink.

I'm at my computer, I'm just too drunk to type anything meaningful right now.

I live my life one shot at a time.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

I don't have drinking problems, I am just very thirsty.

I'm drinking my problems away. Since I have a drinking problem, this may take a while.

If I was sober, I would have inserted a witty away message between these two arrows: --><--.

Party hardy, friends forever, out all nite, we'll be together, stay till dawn, then home to sleep, can't wait to do it all again next week.

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my beer.

If you can read this message without any trouble, you obviously have a lack of alcohol.

One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla... FLOOR!

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence?

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk!

In beer there's strength, in wine there's health, in vodka there's fun... In water there are microbes!

Alcohol can slowly kill you... It doesn't matter, there's no rush!

I've got no drinking issues! I drink, I get drunk, I fall, I get back up... No issues!

If Dracula would suck my blood, he'd get drunk!

I've got too much blood in my alcohol!

Do not make fun of drunk people... Join them!

I don't see that the glass is half full, I see that there are a lot of empty bottles around!

A person usually gets over being drunk, but never over being stupid!

There are no ugly women, just men that are not drunk enough!

A ghost walked into a bar and ordered a shot of vodka. The bartender said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here.’

Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.

Liquid antiseptic for external wounds. Whiskey for internal wounds.

I don't have a drinking problem, unless I can't find a drink.

Funny → About alcohol

I'm at my computer, I'm just too drunk to type anything meaningful right now.

I live my life one shot at a time.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

I don't have drinking problems, I am just very thirsty.

I'm drinking my problems away. Since I have a drinking problem, this may take a while.

Funny → About alcohol

If I was sober, I would have inserted a witty away message between these two arrows: --><--.

Party hardy, friends forever, out all nite, we'll be together, stay till dawn, then home to sleep, can't wait to do it all again next week.

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my beer.

If you can read this message without any trouble, you obviously have a lack of alcohol.

One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla... FLOOR!

Funny → About alcohol

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence?

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk!

In beer there's strength, in wine there's health, in vodka there's fun... In water there are microbes!

Alcohol can slowly kill you... It doesn't matter, there's no rush!

I've got no drinking issues! I drink, I get drunk, I fall, I get back up... No issues!

Funny → About alcohol

If Dracula would suck my blood, he'd get drunk!

I've got too much blood in my alcohol!

Do not make fun of drunk people... Join them!

I don't see that the glass is half full, I see that there are a lot of empty bottles around!

A person usually gets over being drunk, but never over being stupid!

Funny → About alcohol

There are no ugly women, just men that are not drunk enough!