Arguing on the Internet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you`re still retarded!
Go inside the kitchen, open the gas tank and leave for about 20 minutes. Then go back and light a match. The name if your soul mate will appear in the ceiling. Did it work?
The pessimist sees the darkness inside the tunnel. The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees the train's lights approaching. The train conductor sees three idiots on the rails.
When I'll die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandmother. I don't wanna die screaming, like the other passengers in that car!
If you try and you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat this until you get caught. Then lie that it wasn't you!
Son, if you really want to do something with your life, you have to work hard. Now quiet the lotto numbers are being announced.
I keep seeing on TV commercials for detergents that clean blood stains. When you have a blood stained shirt, I don't think washing it is your main problem.
My neighbor asked me if he can use my lawnmower, and I told him that he could, but only if he didn't take it off of my lawn.
You're 90 years old; 10 more and you'll be able to really smile. But it's pointless, because you're toothless!
Arguing on the Internet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you`re still retarded!
Go inside the kitchen, open the gas tank and leave for about 20 minutes. Then go back and light a match. The name if your soul mate will appear in the ceiling. Did it work?
The pessimist sees the darkness inside the tunnel. The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees the train's lights approaching. The train conductor sees three idiots on the rails.
When I'll die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandmother. I don't wanna die screaming, like the other passengers in that car!
If you try and you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat this until you get caught. Then lie that it wasn't you!
Son, if you really want to do something with your life, you have to work hard. Now quiet the lotto numbers are being announced.
I keep seeing on TV commercials for detergents that clean blood stains. When you have a blood stained shirt, I don't think washing it is your main problem.
My neighbor asked me if he can use my lawnmower, and I told him that he could, but only if he didn't take it off of my lawn.
You're 90 years old; 10 more and you'll be able to really smile. But it's pointless, because you're toothless!