I'm counting the number stupid people online; if I skipped you, just tell me!
1f u C4n r34D 7h1s u r34lly n33d 7o G37 l41d!
In this very hour, 8700 people are thinking about sex, 3400 have already done it, 2400 are about to do it. Just one is sitting and reading my status.
Consider that my status is very intelligent and be amazed!
There are millions of people in this country and you happen to be the one reading my status.
Why are you looking at my status? Get one for yourself!
I thought about this status all day...
I have no money for a status; I spent them all on the avatar!
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk!
In beer there's strength, in wine there's health, in vodka there's fun... In water there are microbes!
Alcohol can slowly kill you... It doesn't matter, there's no rush!
I've got no drinking issues! I drink, I get drunk, I fall, I get back up... No issues!
If Dracula would suck my blood, he'd get drunk!
I've got too much blood in my alcohol!
Do not make fun of drunk people... Join them!
I don't see that the glass is half full, I see that there are a lot of empty bottles around!
A person usually gets over being drunk, but never over being stupid!
There are no ugly women, just men that are not drunk enough!
I don't trust camels nor any living thing that can go without drinking for more than a week.
We all say we'll quit drinking, but we're all drunk when we say it.
If you want to drown your sorrow by drinking, just remember that sorrow knows how to swim!
You're so ugly when you're empty!
The drinks are on me, but my neighbor will pay for them...
Quitting drinking is the easiest thing in the world! I, for example, quit drinking 14 thousand times!
Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.