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The bartender says, “we don’t serve tachyons here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.

A bunch of Uranium-238 walks into a bar. 4.47 billion years later half of them are still there.

The Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs boson in here. The Higgs boson says, “But without me how can you have mass?”

A statistician walks into just your average bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve statisticians.” The statistician says, “Well you’re just mean.”

An alchemist walks into a bar. “12 glasses of water please.” He winks at his friends.

An infrared photon walks into a bar and says, “Is it hot in here or is it just me.”

A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve neutrinos in this bar.” The neutrino says “Hey, I was just passing through.”

Schrodinger’s Cat walks into a bar…and doesn’t.

Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve bacteria in this bar.” The bacterias say, “But we work here, we’re Staph.”

A room temperature super conductor walks into the bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve room temperature super conductors here.” The room temperature super conductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and when the neutron asks how much his tab is, the barkeep responds, “for you? No charge.”

A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says we don’t serve viruses. The virus replaces the bartender and says, “Now we do.”

An infectious disease walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve infectious diseases.” The infectious disease says “Well, you’re not a very good host.”

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here.". Helium doesn't react.

Infinity mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders one beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer. The bartender rolls his eyes and pours two beers.

Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who askes: "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am"

The bartender says, “we don’t serve tachyons here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.

A bunch of Uranium-238 walks into a bar. 4.47 billion years later half of them are still there.

The Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs boson in here. The Higgs boson says, “But without me how can you have mass?”

A statistician walks into just your average bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve statisticians.” The statistician says, “Well you’re just mean.”

Geek → Funny

An alchemist walks into a bar. “12 glasses of water please.” He winks at his friends.

An infrared photon walks into a bar and says, “Is it hot in here or is it just me.”

A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve neutrinos in this bar.” The neutrino says “Hey, I was just passing through.”

Schrodinger’s Cat walks into a bar…and doesn’t.

Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve bacteria in this bar.” The bacterias say, “But we work here, we’re Staph.”

Geek → Funny

A room temperature super conductor walks into the bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve room temperature super conductors here.” The room temperature super conductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and when the neutron asks how much his tab is, the barkeep responds, “for you? No charge.”

A virus walks into a bar. The bartender says we don’t serve viruses. The virus replaces the bartender and says, “Now we do.”

An infectious disease walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve infectious diseases.” The infectious disease says “Well, you’re not a very good host.”

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here.". Helium doesn't react.

Geek → Funny

Infinity mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders one beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer. The bartender rolls his eyes and pours two beers.

Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who askes: "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am"