Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
It always amazes me how a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
I organized a threesome last night. There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had fun.
I refused to believe my roadworker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
Maybe Hitler wouldn't have been so grumpy if people hadn't left him hanging for high-fives all the time.
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian". Well nobody's laughing now.
You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.
Say what you want about deaf people...
Oh, so blackmail aren't letters your dad's sending you from prison?
The bartender says, "We don’t serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards…
Creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is.
A recent survey showed that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
I just wish once someone would call me "Sir" without adding "You're making a scene."
I need to reconsider my life's choices. The heat made me realize I couldn't stand being in Hell…
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat triangle slices?