YMStatus.com

The best statuses to share with your friends!

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.

People say you cannot live without love... I think oxygen is more important.

Liking your own Facebook status is like giving your self a high five in public.

Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching.

Nothing is really lost, until your Mom can't find it.

School is killing us. Textbooks are made from paper, paper is made from trees, we need trees for oxygen. Thus, school is killing us.

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

I am not single; I'm romantically challenged.

Save water! Shower with your girlfriend.

I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.

I'm not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat.

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I'll move in with them.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it's closed.

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions.

Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Chuck Norris was given birth by his aunt, because no one had the courage to f*ck with his mother.

Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead.

Liquid antiseptic for external wounds. Whiskey for internal wounds.