YMStatus.com

The best statuses to share with your friends!

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

Some people are just plain stupid. If you forget, they'll remind you.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream. And that's kind of the same thing.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Don't judge a book by its movie.

By the time you read this you've already read it.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

For once in my life, I'd like to get up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis.

You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish.

Whenever you get mad, just think of a T-rex trying to masturbate.

If your girlfriend stops waxing it means you're the only one in her life.

Don't be afraid of smart women. Loves makes them stupid too.

- My friend, I have no luck in mariage. - How come? - My first wife ran away with an Italian guy. - And this one? - This one doesn't want to go away!

Whoever suggested that haircut you're wearing must really have a sense of humor.

I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen.

A man is as young as the woman he feels.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

It's much easier to kiss 10 times one's hand than to kiss 1 time one's butt.

Creativity is magical, but is not magic.

All women dream of a loving and caring male partner; but, unfortunately, all loving and caring lovers already have a male partner.