YMStatus.com

The best statuses to share with your friends!

Anyone has the right to be stupid, but some abuse this privilege!

Don't step on the grass, smoke it!

How can you make fun of a blind person? Move their furniture around the house.

When I was little, I used to wave to the police men. Now I'm cheap... I only give them the finger!

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

Save water; drink beer!

When I'll die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandmother. I don't wanna die screaming, like the other passengers in that car!

If you try and you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat this until you get caught. Then lie that it wasn't you!

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants!

I told my psychiatrist that everybody hates me. He told me it's not true - not everyone knows me!

Son, if you really want to do something with your life, you have to work hard. Now quiet the lotto numbers are being announced.

A colleague won a trip to China. Now he's there trying to win a trip back.

I keep seeing on TV commercials for detergents that clean blood stains. When you have a blood stained shirt, I don't think washing it is your main problem.

Smile, tomorrow you might be toothless!

Mature enough to know what I want, but childish enough to pretend that I don't!

My neighbor asked me if he can use my lawnmower, and I told him that he could, but only if he didn't take it off of my lawn.

You're 90 years old; 10 more and you'll be able to really smile. But it's pointless, because you're toothless!

Duration granted for a meeting is inversely proportional to its importance.

After that the world was twisted as it was, here comes Katrina and makes it even more twisted!

I'm not unbalanced; it's the Earth's axis' fault, it's crooked.

Don't take God's name in the desert. Go alone!

If you won a million dollars, what should you do? Go to the bank and have them changed into pennies. Melt the pennies and sell them for two million dollars!

The mute man told the deaf man that the blind man saw the paralyzed man run to his mother's.

If found, please return to 47.054671 latitude and 21.911545 longitude!

If you only knew how much I love you... r parents.