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The best statuses to share with your friends!

Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.

Sharks aren't so bad... If a stranger entered into my house wearing only a speedo, I would probably attack him too!

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.

People say you cannot live without love... I think oxygen is more important.

Others statuses

Liking your own Facebook status is like giving your self a high five in public.

Nothing is really lost, until your Mom can't find it.

Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.

I am not single; I'm romantically challenged.

Save water! Shower with your girlfriend.

Others statuses

I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I'll move in with them.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?

Others statuses

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I am going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it's closed.

Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions.

Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

Others statuses

Beer is the answer... but I can't remember the question.

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think... in a deeper voice.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

Others statuses

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.