YMStatus.com

The best statuses to share with your friends!

Having sex with me is like a pandemic: if it happens to you, you lost your taste.

Having sex with me is like a pandemic: after some time, no one knows what's going on.

Having sex with me is like a pandemic: there are all kind of restrictions.

Having sex with me is like a pandemic: you can't wait for it to be over.

Having sex with me is like a pandemic: from time to time you have to test yourself.

Having sex with me is like a pandemic: you hope tests don't come out positive.

Having sex with me is like a pandemic: my relatives think it doesn't exist.

My girlfriend left be becase I always exagerate stuff. Too bad, she was 1 in 100000000.

I have a kid in Aftica that I take care of for just $2 per month. Which is very cheap compared to what it cost to get him there.

My jokes are like women: you rarely get a good one.

My fish died, but it's his fault. If he didn't like it outside the fish tank, why was he waggling his tail?

Dear Pink Floyd, our education system is what happens when teachers leave the kids alone. So thanks.

Boobs are like JPEG photos - you can't make them bigger without losing the quality.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They'll never expect it back.

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

My father has schizophrenia, but he's good people.

Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.

Never trust atoms; they make up everything.

Russian dolls are so full of themselves.

I used to think I was indecisive. But now I'm not so sure.

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.