YMStatus.com

The best statuses to share with your friends!

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence?

Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere!

In bed: It's 7:00 A.M., you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 8:45. At work: It's 1:30 P.M., you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 1:31 P.M.

Scientists have come to the conclusion that 56498231 people on the Internet are lazy just because they didn't bother to read that number.

I like diversity in my bed! Every night I sleep with a different pajama.

According to a survey, 9 out of 10 men like women with large breast, the 10th likes the other 9 men.

I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me never to go to those places again.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

I don't know karate but, I do know crazy and, I'm not afraid to use it.

"If you fall, I'll be there." – The floor

A woman is like a football player. She lays down and moans, and you're wondering if she's faking it or not.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris cannot fly, but he does it anyway!

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.